mister sex: Archive

2 tags

Feb 24th

195 notes

3 tags

Feb 24th

38 notes

2 tags

Feb 24th

39 notes

3 tags

Feb 24th

56 notes

1 tag

tumblr a month ago: SOPA AND PIPA ARE GUNNA KILL THE INTERNET!!! 
tumblr a week ago: THAT DAD PUNISHING HIS CHILD BY SHOOTING HER LAPTOP?!!? OH MY GOD KILL THE MOTHERFUCKER 
tumblr two days ago: ASDFGHJKL I GOTTA FIND THE AIRPORT!!
tumblr today: LISTEN HERE CUMSLUT I AM A PROFESSIONAL IN BIRDOLOGY AND I KNOW CHOCOLATE KILLS CGI BIRDS!!!!

Feb 24th

995 notes

6 tags

Feb 24th

334 notes

2 tags

Feb 24th

41 notes

1 tag

Feb 24th

1,989 notes

1 tag

Feb 24th

1,989 notes

1 tag

Tourist: Could you give us directions to Olive Garden?

New Yorker: Listen here cum-slut, I bet you 5 million dollars that you don’t own a bird. But guess what? I own 7. And I can tell you right now that a bird would never just walk into something like a chocolate fountain. They’ll rarely walk directly into water. But say that your idiotic theory is correct. Say it did actually walk into it. That animal still probably died. Is that still funny to you? Do you still get your kicks out of knowing that that bird was probably terrified and opening its mouth to scream in that last panel? And if you say yes then you seriously disgust me as a human being.

Feb 24th

265 notes

oh god i went on the cum-slut tag to see that bird but scrolled down past the trend and i should have seen that coming

Feb 24th

9 notes

Feb 24th

56 notes

Feb 24th

19,508 notes

Feb 24th

1,711 notes

2 tags

Feb 24th

2,166 notes

4 tags

fandom blog by day bird/lawn mower/overall dumb blog by night

Feb 24th

7 notes

zillybooradley: snookidoughicecream: my mom: did you do your homework??? me: yes!!!! me: oh god

Feb 24th

673 notes

1 tag

what if i take two chocolate chip cookies and smash them together with nutella and peanut butter

Feb 24th

5 notes

4 tags

Feb 24th

46 notes

1 tag

professorsherlock replied to your post: professorsherlock replied to your post: u ok I saw… I COMPLETELY OVERLOOKED THE CHOCOLATE RIGHT NEXT TO IT. /SCREAMING FFFFFLMFNSDJKAF SCreeCHEss

Feb 24th

1 note

1 tag

Feb 24th

7 notes

Feb 24th

53 notes

1 tag

Feb 24th

121 notes

4 tags

Feb 24th

13 notes

1 tag

professorsherlock replied to your post: u ok I saw that post, omfg. I laughed at what someone pointed out. “she likes fried chicken she can’t say shit about a fake bird” I LOST IT. Good night to laugh THIS SHOULD BE HER THANG

Feb 24th

2 notes

2 tags

Feb 24th

71 notes

3 tags

u ok

Feb 24th

15 notes

2 tags

jinnymoose: squidmama: adriofthedead: doctorscience: princessnecrophilia: diaxiann: cutiescream: diaxiann: cutiescream: That is not funny That is not cute It is animal abuse BIRDS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT CHOCOLATE BIRDS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE COATED IN CHOCOLATE Why the fuck do you think birds who get coated in oil die? It’s for the same goddamn reason. You idiots can have...

Feb 24th

1,615 notes

1 tag

conversationparade:

Feb 24th

3,602 notes

Feb 24th

96 notes

littlefroggies: tinandcoppermakebronze: ...

Feb 24th

473 notes

3 tags

Feb 24th

48,055 notes

1 tag

Blow UP My inbox

Would you rather.. Fuck, kill or marry This or that Personal questions Creepy anons Random questions Advice Love/hate Anonymous secrets Anything you want!

Feb 24th

116,032 notes

2 tags

i seriously can’t fucking breathe because of that bird

Feb 24th

1 note

1 tag